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Full Exchange Between Obama and Medvedev Revealed!

Seoul, Korea  |  President Obama’s inadvertently recorded exchange with Russian President Medvedev that caused a firestorm of whining among Republicans turns out to be only a small portion of the extended conversation that took place. As the technician fumbled with the volume controls, the full exchange was still recorded as part of the nuclear nonproliferation conference.

At this point in their conversation, Medvedev recounted Vladimir Putin’s habit of
getting stone drunk on 151 proof vodka and then challenging subordinates to
hit him in the stomach as hard as they can.

This reporter obtained a copy of the transcript of the two leader’s complete conversation. The portion that was overheard is italicized.

Obama: On all these issues, but particularly missile defense, this, this can be solved but it’s important for him to give me space.

Medvedev: Yeah, I understand. I understand your message about space. Space for you. You want us to give you outer space. Vlad is going to be mad pissed!

Obama: No, Dimitry, not outer space. Space like, breathing room, room to maneuver. This is my last election. After my election I have more flexibility.

Medvedev: I understand. I will transmit this information to Vladimir.

Obama: How’s that whole job switch thing working for you and Putin?

Medvedev: Like I have choice with Vlad? The guy’s stone KGB. He says, ‘You switch jobs with me or go for midnight dip in Volga. Your choice, dickwad.’

In a light hearted moment at a recent conference, Vladimir Putin, having just consumed a fifth of vodka, playfully threatened to punch President Medvedev’s lights out.

Obama: He called you a dickwad?

Medvedev: Don’t get me started! A couple of weeks ago at his dacha after he is drinking usual 10 vodkas, he takes off shirt and says to punch him in the stomach as hard as I can.

Obama: No way!

Medvedev: Word, bro!

Obama: What’d you do?

Medvedev: I punched motherfucker hard.

Obama: And?

Medvedev: He double over. Then he say, ‘Now I punch you.’

Obama: Uh oh!

Medvedev: I am thinking, ‘Fuck me.’ He did this to guy in Politburo last year and guy was bleeding out of ass for month. I had to let him punch me.

Last year a clearly irritated Vladimir Putin jokingly suggested that should Medvedev not switch positions with him, he would rip out Medvedev’s heart and tear it into little pieces.

Obama: No alternative?

Medvedev: Yes, alternative. Midnight dip in Volga.

Obama: What happened next?

Medvedev: The fucker punched me. When I wake, I have no spleen. Doctors take it.

Obama: Ouch!

Medvedev: Yeah, ouch. I am telling you, if dealing with Sanitarium and Romney is the worst part of day, you are lucky man.

Obama: Hey, man, time to go. Take it easy. Our best to Svetlana.

Medvedev: TTYS, man.

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