Etch A Sketch Comment Sets off Toy War
Lexington, MA | When Romney advisor Eric Fehrnstrom commented that Romney’s campaign record was like an Etch A Sketch because all the idiotic things Romney has said and done so far can be wiped clean and a new record can be etched for the general election, he had no idea that this comment would set off an increasingly vicious toy war.
Senior VP of Marketing Martin Killgallon at the Ohio Art Company said the metaphor is an apt one. “Just look at what you can do with our product! Einstein one minute, George Harrison the next! Who knows what new positions Mitt will etch?”
Skyrocketing Etch A Sketch sales have thrown gasoline on an already simmering jealousy among other manufacturers that make transmutable toys.
During a hastily called press conference, the CEO of Crayola, maker of Silly Putty, called the Etch A Sketch claim “a bunch of baloney.”
“Not only is Silly Putty the original toy that adapts its shape to literally anything — just like Romney’s policies — but we now have Changeable Silly Putty that changes color in your hand! If that isn’t Mitt Romney to a T, I don’t know what is!”
The Archie McPhee Company, long-time purveyors of useless crap, joined the fray, pointing out that their bendable figures are a far more apt metaphor for Mitt Romney’s candidacy.
“Mitt twists his positions and makes these painfully tortured explanations. If that isn’t just like our fully bendable Mr. Bacon figure, what is, I ask you?” said a McPhee spokesperson, who was wearing McPhee’s new inflatable unicorn horn and a pair of giant underpants.
Not to be outdone, Brian Goldner, President and CEO of Hasbro, called a press conference outside Romney for President Headquarters in Lexington, MA.
“I am here to set the record straight once and for all. Mitt Romney is PLAY-DOH!
“He always has been PLAY-DOH. Unlike bendable toys, or Etch A Sketches, or any of that crap that McPhee sells, you can make anything out of our product, take it apart, mash it up, and make something else — that’s as long as you don’t bake it — and here again, you see the resemblance because most of Romney’s ideas aren’t baked at all!”