Romney Aggressively Courting the Moron Vote in the South
Big Booger, Alabama | Mitt Romney celebrated his 65th birthday with comedian Jeff Foxworthy, who endorsed Romney’s candidacy.
Foxworthy has been a successful comedian who made his name with jokes for and about his audience, whom he affectionately calls “rednecks.”
His jokes take at a playful look at redneck life in the South. Due to the fact that black people don’t get red necks from working outdoors, Foxworthy’s redneck audience is exclusively white. He is best known for a series of jokes that begin with “You might be a redneck if. . .” with some of his most popular lines being
You might be a redneck if you and all your family members believe that blacks are genetically inferior to whites.
You might be a redneck if you believe that one of the biggest problems in this country is all the black people on welfare when in fact there are proportionally more white people on welfare.
You might be a redneck if your grandfather and grandmother attended a lynching.
You might be redneck if your father and grandfather were members of the White Citizen’s Council or marched with the Ku Klux Klan or burned down a black church.
You might be a redneck if you, your children, or one of your relatives attended white Christian academies to avoid having to sit in the same room with a black person.
You might be a redneck if you dropped out of school, got married when you were 17, had five children, worked a shitty job, got canned because you are an idiot, and have since decided that the source of all your troubles and woes is the first black President Barak Obama, whom you are certain is a Nazi Socialist Communist Muslim.
You might be a redneck if your politicians have convinced you that the Federal government, blacks, Jews, and lawyers are why you life is so fucking miserable when in fact it is your own lack of character, education, and gumption that has made your life the miasmic, evangelical swamp of self-pity and racist hatred that it is.
You might be a redneck because you lost the Civil War and every day, your life is testimony to why it is that the South lost and so richly deserves to keep on losing.
After attending one of Foxworthy’s performances, Romney said, “If this doesn’t prove that I love racist morons, nothing will!”