Romney Secures Vital Endorsement From Unborn
Spokesfetus for Association of Conservative Fetuses signals, ‘Mitt’s our man!’
Suppository Springs, Arizona | In an increasingly desperate effort to prove that he can be just as loony as Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney today announced that a previously unknown association of conservative fetuses has endorsed his candidacy.
The message “I Like Mitt” is clearly visible in a sonogram of the spokesfetus for the group. “Let’s see Santorum top this!” crowed a Romney operative.
The stress of having taken so many nutty positions seems to be taking its toll on Romney. During his stump speech, he is now contorting his face into crazy looking grimaces, but his handlers say is this behavior is helping to establish his loony credentials with the base of the Republican Party.
During one speech, Romney declared, “‘Santorum thinks he can act idiotic? I’m severely idiotic!’
To match Romney’s untethered behavior, Santorum donned a pair of crazy eyeball glasses during a speech, which brought the crowd of right-wingers to their feet.
But in an informal poll of attendees, most of them acknowledged that Santorum was just acting silly, not crazy, and they felt disappointed. “I was expecting the honest-to-goodness bull goose loony Santorum, but all I heard was mildly nutty. I’m taking another look at Romney. He’s becoming completely unhinged – my kind of man!”
In other developments, Santorum made an appearance at an exclusive Arizona country club hoping to find some “blah” people to insult but was informed that “blah” people weren’t allowed to join the club.