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Banging Boomers Rock The House

Despite dietary restrictions, a bout of diverticulitis, and an early curfew, The Banging Boomers delivered a solid two hours of Mock 'N' Roll.

Cambridge, MA  |   Touring behind their surprise summer hit Is This Love or Just Bad Gas? The Bangin’ Boomers took the stage Tuesday night at the Club Elysium and ripped through two solid hours of a voice-shredding, middle-aged anthems of what they call “mock’n’roll.” Although playing to a younger crowd who were mostly there to see the opening act Consensual Sext, the wrinkled rockers won over those who stayed to hear their take on to the increasingly popular niche of Mock Rock.

Their current tour is being sponsored by Viagra and Ginko Bilboa. “This way, if one of us gets lucky, we’ll be able to remember her name,” quipped their drummer, Pop Quiz.

The Boomers patron saint, Beatle Ringo Starr.

Lead singer, keyboardist, and former insurance agent, Bill “Gimme Tax Shelter” Nichols explained that the Boomers took the concept for their music from Ringo Starr’s encounter with a reporter in Beatle’s film Hard Day’s Night. “When she asks Ringo if he’s a Mod or a Rocker, Ringo says, ‘I’m a Mocker.’ That resonated with us because we like to make fun of everything. If we didn’t at this point in our lives, we’d probably kill ourselves. We’re ready for the fame bubble to burst and go back to being hard-core unemployables. Bitch goddess of success and all that.”

Viagra is one of The Boomer's sponsors and the inspiration for their song Six Hour Erection.

Continuing with selections from their new CD In Bed By Ten, the Boomer’s opened their show with the speed metal tune Six Hour Erection segueing smoothly into the thumping reggae beats of Restricted Diet. The band had the crowd singing along with the chorus of  “My doctor says more roughage in my diet / I love my cheese, don’t want to try it.” They closed off this set with the existential lamentation I’m Not Too Old For You selected from the oeuvre of Mock Rock pioneer Root Boy Slim. Former Papa Gino’s manager and bass player George “Red Sauce” Rabinowitz noted that “Root Boy’s original line was ‘When you turn 17, I’ll just be 32,’ but we updated the numbers to 22 and 65. Seemed more realistic and less litigious.”

While the other members of the band took a break to rehydrate, lead guitarist and former real estate agent Jeff “Underwater” Rivers ripped into the crunching opening chords of the swamp blues cri de coeur I Hate Your Music. Drummer and recently riffed English teacher Tony “Pop Quiz” McDonald harmonized with Rivers on the chorus of  “Lady Gaga’s infantile / Music for a half wit / You’ll be deaf at 23 / Think I’ll give a shit?” Rivers really stretched out on the Tex-Mex favorite No More Bean Dip and capped the set off up with the driving Chicago blues tune My Ex-Wife Had a Moustache.

"No more bean dip for these rock and rollers," said a wistful Boomer. "At least not on a tour bus with one bathroom."

When the rest of the band returned, the Boomers playfully rolled up the legs of their trousers as they launched into the up-tempo sing along, based on Eliot’s “Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.” “I grow old, I grow old,” the Boomers sang a cappella to which the crowd sang back “I shall wear my trousers rolled!”

“I love playing in Cambridge,” said Pop Quiz after the show. “They get all the literary allusions although we tripped them up last year with some of Ezra Pound’s more obscure cantos. Actually all of Pound’s shit is obscure. But it’s all good fun, except for the Nazi stuff.”

The Boomer’s didn’t want the fun to end on a literary note, so they cranked up their amps to eleven with four raucous rockers: This Is Not a Normal Cold, Skipped My Pills Today, Finger Up My Ass, and the bluntly satirical Mitt Romney is a Fucking Twat.

Boomer's proctologist "Dr. Goldfinger" inspired the tune Finger Up My Ass.

Although two of the Boomers looked tired at the end of the show and it was getting close to their bedtimes, the crowd wouldn’t let them go, so they came out and sang a send up of The Who’s My Generation. “People say my hair is thin / And my breath always stinks of gin /Spend my day sittin’ on the john / Hope I die ’fore the money’s all gone.”

As the band piled into their tour bus, the few autograph seekers reflected on the concert. “They sure make getting older sound awful,” said a somber Tiffany Douglas, a junior majoring in Twitter at BU. “On the other hand, for a bunch of unemployed old guys, they still rock out. Even though he’s old enough to be my grandfather, Pop Quiz could be sorta hot in the right light.”

This article first appeared in the new online humor Web site The Yellow Ham.

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