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Vesicare May Not Be For Everyone.


Vesicare is used to treat symptoms of overactive bladder, such as frequent or urgent urination, urinating more than 23 times a night, and incontinence (urine drenched underwear).

If you are pregnant and taking Vesicare, it may cause your unborn child to be born with a large horn in the middle of its forehead.

gottagowickedbad

Having an overactive bladder is no joke, unless it's someone else who has it in which case it can be pretty funny.

Before using Vesicare, tell your doctor if you have glaucoma, liver disease, kidney disease, a blockage in your stomach or intestines, or a history of “Long QT syndrome.” If you have no idea what “Long QT Syndrome” is or why it’s put in quotes, it means you have “Long QT syndrome” and should report it immediately to your doctor even if you have already reported it to your doctor when you told him about all the other stuff that’s wrong with you. You definitely don’t want to mess with “Long QT syndrome.”

Vesicare can cause side effects that may impair your vision. Be careful if you drive or do anything that requires you to be alert and able to see clearly, such as eating meals, driving to work, doing your job, having a drink after work, or having unprotected sex with a minor.

Vesicare may give you the illusion that you possess superpowers, such as being able to fly, stop an oncoming taxi, or being invisible.

Vesicare may adversely interact with other drugs you are taking and cause uncontrollable projectile urination. It may have the serious side effect of causing you to move to Utah and donating your life savings to the Huntsman for President 2016 Campaign.

sausage lips

If your lips look like this, call a doctor immediately!

Other side effects may be: hot and dry skin, extreme thirst, lips that swell to the size of twin kielbasas, constipation that lasts longer than seven months, flames shooting out of the end of your penis, stigmata, forgetting all of your PIN numbers, calling your high school girl/boy friend at 4 AM, the sudden ability to speak fluent Aramaic, writing an opera, or performing a medley of Marlene Dietrich songs at an open mic night.

If you experience all of these symptoms, stop using Vesicare and call your doctor or exorcist immediately.

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